When was the last time you thought, My kids are so lucky! I'm the perfect mom! 

If it's been a while (or never), why? 

I know what you're thinking. One--it's not nice to brag. And two--I would never say I'm a perfect mom! Am I right? Well, guess what? 

Sometimes it is good to brag. Just a little. Or if you don't like the word brag, how about being willing to give yourself a little credit? Bragging gets a bad rap, and maybe it should, but on the other hand, maybe we need to brag just a little bit more. Not in a "I'm better than everyone else" kind of way, but maybe in a "I'm getting this and it sure feels good" kind of way. 

Now to that word--perfect. Are you now, or have you ever been, a perfectionist about something? I have! Man alive, I was determined to keep a perfect home and have perfect children. Ha! This, of course, meant I had to be the perfect mother. Oh boy! Talk about a miserable way to live. I could not come close to maintaining my standards, and it was discouraging. Motherhood was not very fun during those days.

Then I learned a secret. 

I didn't have to try to be perfect. I already was! 

What?? 

It's true! I was already a perfect mom for my kids. They didn't actually need a perfect woman who never made mistakes and always had an immaculate home. Goodness, no! That's the last thing they needed, or even wanted. They just needed good old me. Flaws and all. Mistakes by the hundreds. Poor posture, missing toenails (now that's a story you have to hear!), messy bun hair daily, emotional, over zealous, one dinner/week (on a good week) ME. 

That's it. 

I couldn't be a more imperfect mother. And yet . . .

I couldn't be more perfect! And I'm so happy about it! I adore my kids, and you know what? I think they adore me. Sure, they get frustrated with me at times and want to pinch my face off, but they know how genuinely I love them. They know I am trying so hard to train and teach and lead and mentor and love them into the most beautiful humans they could possibly become. They know I'm their biggest cheerleader and someone they can talk to about anything. They know I am willing to show them the way forward and have their backs at the same time. 

I'm not perfect at any of these things. Of course not! But I try. Oh, how I try! 

And that is why my imperfect mothering is oh, so perfect! 

And so is yours! 

You got this!

Has anyone ever told you your child is "emotional," and you didn't take it as a compliment? For some reason, being emotional is considered a bad thing. If a child shows too much emotion, the result could be getting labeled as a "crybaby" or a "whiner" or a "wimp." The child might begin to feel it's necessary to hide emotions to please others. 

I think most of us have at least one child who tends to be more emotional than the rest. And that child can take up a lot of parenting energy (bless his/her heart!). If we aren't careful, we might start to label this child as being "too emotional." Or we may overreact to this child because it can take more self-control when one person's emotions are high. Or maybe even worst of all, we may start to ignore this child altogether, just so we can have some breathing room. But here's the truth about our children (and ourselves) and emotions. They are harmless. They are just vibrations in the body, and they won't hurt anyone. 

Yes, some children are more sensitive to their own feelings and the feelings of others. Is this good? Is it bad? Well, it's neither good nor bad. It just is. It means they might display emotions more openly (and yes, perhaps a bit more dramatically); it means they may have to share a lot of details about a very normal day; it means they may get overwhelmed a bit easier than less emotional children; and it may mean it takes them a bit longer to move on from emotionally-challenged events. But here's the good news. Those same children love deep and hard. They are empathetic to a fault. They are considerate and are often the ones who choose careers that provide them constant opportunities to help others. So while their emotions can often feel loud and exhausting, those same emotions are actually creating beautiful humans. 

So, if you have an extra emotional child or two, look for those benefits that come with the emotion. Help them channel it in positive ways. Be sure to manage your own emotions. And enjoy watching them as they use their extra big hearts in meaningful ways. It might take some practice, but don't worry . . .

You got this!

 Today everything just feels heavy. I'm sitting at my computer, battling the incessant urge to collapse on the floor and do the superman stretch, extending every tired muscle as far as it will go for as long as I want. Followed by the call to simply curl up in the fetal position and close my tired eyes, breathing slowly and deeply until my body has surrendered to complete peace and rest. It sounds wonderful to forget about everything on my to-do list today and pretend I have no responsibilities at all. Yes, a part of me wants to just give in.

And yet . . .

Here I am, plucking away at the computer instead. 

Why?

Because as much as giving in sounds good right now, tomorrow, or the next day or the next, I will feel the repercussions. I will have to pay the price. And that price is greater than what I pay now. Inflation is a real thing, my friends. Am I right?

Don't get me wrong. There are times when we need a pause. There are days when we need to take our foot off the gas a little and ease up on the pace we have been keeping. It's important to keep our eyes on the speedometer so we can be sure the speed in which we are moving forward is within safe limits, adjusting as necessary. However, taking constant pit stops does not get us to our destination. 

Sometimes small breaks turn into big detours because it can be difficult to get up to speed again. So what do you do when you've been rather busy and you feel like collapsing on the floor? Here are a few suggestions:

1-Manage your mind (Ok, you probably knew that was coming). The truth is, as I sat here, dreaming of the floor rescuing me from all of my responsibilities, I realized my thoughts were starting to lead me down a path of self destruction. They were creating a story that was all kinds of discouraging and tired. And I was believing every bit of this story! Until I decided not to. Suddenly, I was empowered to change the plot. So can you. One of my favorite thoughts to try on is, "How can this be fun?" Sometimes my initial reaction is that it can't. But then I decide to get a little creative, and suddenly, my brain figures out all kinds of ways even the most difficult, boring work can be fun. Try it!

2-Find your currency and use it to your advantage. What excites you? What motivates you? What causes that dopamine rush for you? What is a reward you can look forward to that won't sabotage your health in any way? For me, I love the feeling of being "done." When I feel I have finished what I set out to do for the day, that's a huge rush for me. I crave that feeling, and it motivates me to keep working until I can feel it. When I am finished, I get to spend my time doing whatever I want. I get to go on a walk and listen to one of my favorite podcasts. I get to watch a show or play a game with one of my kids. I get to sit down and just listen to them tell me about their day. I love it! Nothing is weighing on me because I am done! Being done is my currency. What is yours? Find it and use it as a motivator to keep working during challenging times. 

3-Take some baby steps. Maybe today you won't make it from California to New York. That's Ok. Who says you have to? What if you just made it from Las Angeles to Las Vegas? That's progress! When your work feels overwhelming, start with a short list of easy steps. Maybe you need to clean your entire house and it's a disaster. Start with 1-take out the kitchen garbage, 2-make your bed, 3-pick the couch cushions up. Now, is the entire house gleaming? No. But you got started. And an amazing thing happens in our brains when we start moving in the right direction and we achieve success. Our brains like that! They want more of it. It's very common for a person in motion to stay in motion. It's something called momentum, and it's kinda like magic. I'm willing to bet if you did those three simple jobs, you would keep going. You wouldn't stop with picking up the couch pillows. But hey, what if you did? What would happen? Nothing! The cleaning police would not come and take you to jail. You would just have to trip over the couch pillows until you decided to pick them up. And maybe by the time you decided to clean the house, it would be even messier. Inflation, remember? But that brings me to the next point . . .

4-Remember, you get to choose. There is so much power in remembering these three words, "I can choose." Am I right? Sometimes we get bogged down simply by feeling we have to do certain things. I have to clean the house. I have to pick up the couch pillows. I have to go to work today. I have to go to the PTA meeting. Everyone is counting on me. Let me tell you something--

YOU DONT HAVE TO!

You get to choose. What will happen if you don't go to work? You might have to take a sick day, or a vacation day. If you kept not going to work, maybe you would get fired and might need to find a new job. But you can choose to not go to work. You just get what comes with that choice. You don't have to go to the PTA meeting. What if you didn't go? Would the PTA fall to pieces? Or would they figure things out? I'm sure you are an amazing contributor to the PTA, but it's likely the other members would be just fine if you don't go. People are resourceful. 

Are you catching on? Doesn't it feel a bit freeing to remember you get to choose? The thing is, when we give ourselves permission to choose, we usually realize we want to choose the very thing we thought we wanted to escape from just a minute ago. Our mind is tricky that way. It doesn't like to feel trapped. It doesn't like to feel like it has no choice. But when it realizes it gets to choose, suddenly it likes the exact thing it's choosing! 

Maybe. And if not, you just realized you might need to make a change, and that's good to know. 

So the next time you feel like forgetting about everything you need to do and collapsing on the floor in a heap, keep in mind these few tips, and remember . . .

You Got This!