A BIG Mistake

 So, this past week I made a mistake. 

Like, a BIG mistake. 

And when I realized what I had done, I was suddenly overcome with negative emotion. My face felt flushed and hot. I had a huge pit in my stomach and felt sick. My heart started racing. A headache started coming on. Fight/Flight/Flee kicked in big-time, and I definitely wanted to flee! Or maybe it was hide. Under my bed. And never come out.

If I were to sum up my feelings in two words, they would be stupid and embarrassed--two emotions I absolutely hate to feel! 

I could sense things were spiraling out of control very quickly.

And then I realized something. 

Things didn't have to spiral out of control. I didn't have to allow this mistake to ruin our lives, or our peace, or even my day. Yes, I may have been foolish and unknowingly allowed a hacker to have access to my computer (and every device we own) and our bank accounts (yep--I told you it was a BIG mistake), causing us a bit of panic and a whole lot of work to scurry about trying to get everything secure again, BUT that didn't mean I had to spend the entire day, or even another minute, ruminating about it. 

Of course my immediate reaction was for my thoughts to run wild with this kind of ridiculous dialogue: "You're so stupid!" "How could you have let this happen?" "Only a really dumb person would have been fooled by this hacker." "You should have known better." "There were so many signs that something wasn't quite right!" And my favorite of all--one simple word. "Idiot!" 

Why does our brain love to run rampant with such negative self-talk when we make mistakes? As if the natural consequences of our blunders aren't enough, our brain gets busy by metaphorically pouring acid into our wounds by creating thoughts that confirm to ourselves just how flawed we really are. But you know what?

 It doesn't have to be that way.

In the midst of the chaos going on once I realized what had happened, I took a moment to just pause. I decided to stop the chatter that was determined to tell me how stupid I was and weigh me down with even more stress than we were already dealing with. I decided I didn't want to give the situation any more power than I already had. So, I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath, and decided what thoughts I wanted to think. And they went something like this: "Everyone makes mistakes." "This could have been worse." "I'm glad I realized this when I did because this is fixable." "This might help our family in the end because we are making changes that help us be more secure." "I am learning a lot from this experience, and learning from mistakes feels good."

Suddenly, I felt calm. I knew things would be OK. Instead of beating myself up, I got to work helping to find a solution to our problems. By the end of the day, my computer was at a specialist getting the bugs fixed, our bank accounts were under control, and I could even chuckle (a little) at my naive mistake. 

A very wise woman once said that when problems occur, she prefers laughing over crying because crying gives her a headache. Ha! The trick to it all is being conscious of our thoughts. Man, those things just want to sabotage us at times! They want to take away our power and contribute to our mess. But they don't have to. Instead, we can use our thoughts to turn things around, to feel what we truly want to feel and to show up in ways that serve us. 

So, the moral of this story is, if you ever allow a hacker to take over your personal computer, bank accounts, and life, remember that you don't have to let him take over your thoughts and feelings, too! Ha! Seriously though, whatever it is that might cause unwanted thoughts and feelings to rush in, be aware that you can keep all of your power. You simply have to decide what thoughts to keep and what thoughts to let go of.

And if you're not good at it yet, don't panic. Just keep trying.