Happy Mother's Day--Right?

There are a lot of words to describe women on Mother's Day, but typically "happy" isn't the one most moms admit most accurately fits the bill. A more common one?

Guilty.

Why? Because women can't help but operate under the assumption they should be measuring up to some arbitrary standard that is nearly perfect, one they subconsciously claim other mothers obtain but that seems unreachable for themselves.

Of course this "perfect mother" doesn't actually exist except in our minds, but boy, does she wreak havoc in our lives! We are certain she is real, and we convince ourselves we will never measure up to her. We also like to tell ourselves that most other women do. We are smart enough to know sensibly this isn't true, but we allow our primitive brains to take over and weave all kinds of stories about how "everyone we know" is better at "everything" than we are. 

When Mother's Day rolls around, we'd rather fake sick, pull the covers over our heads, and cry into our pillows all day long than to face our children or our spouses and hear the singsong chant, "Happy Mother's Day," while we collect handmade cards and look into innocent faces that have no idea how much we want to be happy. But we aren't. 

And yet we should be! We have every reason in the world to be elated about motherhood and this day that celebrates us. After all, it's not easy to be a mom. And reality is, our children do adore us, imperfections and all (yep, even our teenagers). 

Can you imagine how wonderful it would feel to wake up on Mother's Day, stretch and yawn and then smile your biggest smile because this is the day that celebrates you and your sacred role as mother? No guilt. No shame. No thoughts about not measuring up. No comparisons with other mothers. No painful reminders about things your mother-in-law may have hinted you should change. No overwhelm. Just sheer satisfaction, contentment, and joy. 

Because you are rocking it! 

You are being you, my friend. You are being the perfect mom, the only mom, you can be for your kids. And that is amazing! What does that mom look like? What does she sound like? What does she smell like? What does she do? You get to decide! Isn't that incredible? 

Does she play with her kids? Does she take time for herself? Does she say sorry when she makes a mistake? Does she google things she doesn't know? Does she laugh at herself? Is she a questioner, a lifelong learner, a seeker of truth? Is she compassionate yet firm? Does she know how to listen, really listen, when her kids need to talk? Is she a late-nigher, an early-morninger? Does she love to cook, to garden, to exercise, to run? Is she more of a snacker, a home body, a yoga girl, and a go-at-my-own-pace kind of lady? 

There is no right or wrong answer to these questions. They are just descriptions, and they don't mean anything. Unless we make them mean something. And if we realize there is one of them we want to change, we can! Not to please someone else, or try to be like someone else, but because we like who we are when we make this change. It feels good! It feels like we are getting closer to being an even better mom than we already are. 

So this Mother's Day, I challenge you to love every minute. Focus on the good you are doing. Live in gratitude for the opportunity you have to be a mother. Enjoy your children. Soak up this day that is so beautifully yours. Just remember you are amazing right now today, and . . . 

You got this!

If you are enjoying the Life--Messy but Perfect blog and would like to hear more from Lori, visit her website at www.loriconger.com where you can sign up for personal coaching and group coaching, too. Thanks for being here!